Sweet Rapture
by voyagemaiden
Summary: Post 'The Prince's Tale' and post 'New Moon'. After seeing Snape's memories, something changes inside of Harry. Not wanting to die, he runs, straight into a vampire.
1. Save My Life

Sweet Rapture

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Nor do I own Twilight. I'm just playing with the plots. And each chapter will be based off a song. The links are in my profile.

Warning: There will be darker themes throughout this story. Mental illness, rape, violence, and slash being a part of it.

Summary: Post 'The Prince's Tale' and post 'New Moon'. After seeing Snape's memories, something changes inside of Harry. Not wanting to die, he runs, straight into a vampire.

* * *

Chapter 1 – Save My Life (Xandria)

Finally, the truth.

Harry stood, realizing he had to die. His heart beat frantically in his chest, wanting to beat as much as it could before the end.

After watching Snape's memories, Harry couldn't help but feel betrayed. Not only by Dumbledore, but also by the professor himself.

Dumbledore had his secrets and Harry respected that fact, but to keep something as important as _this_ from him after all these years, it stung him to his core.

_I'm a horcrux._

The words rang strangely in his mind.

In Dumbledore's office, everything looked so neat, so orderly. But Harry's thoughts were composed of chaos as he gazed blankly at the darkness outside of the room.

_So the boy… the boy must die?_

_Don't be so shocked Severus. And Voldemort must do it. That is essential._

_The boy must die. _

"I don't want to die," Harry whispered. He was startled by how strong that thought was compared to the voices inside of his head.

Dumbledore was his mentor, his grandfather, his everything. But apparently he did not care like Harry thought he did. To the headmaster, Harry was merely a weapon. A tool.

The realization hit him hard, tearing at his sanity. His breathing began to come fast and he fell to the ground, wiping fiercely at the tears that had just begun to fall.

"I don't want to die," he whimpered again as vertigo struck his being.

His entire life he had suffered. He had grown up without love, without a parental figure to teach him right from wrong. But of course Dumbledore wanted him to 'test his strengths' before he faced death head on.

Snape could have been there for him while he grew up. He said he cared, but throughout the years he refused to show it. How could Harry forgive that? Snape had loved his mum, but he had turned his back on her only son, protecting him only from afar.

All Harry ever met were lies and he was tired of them! He was so very tired of being used all the time.

Harry groaned when his body throbbed with pain. He blinked, trying to stay conscious, and wondered what the hell was wrong with him. His mind seemed to be tearing in two.

He couldn't afford to black out now, not when Voldemort was so close. He still had a job to do after all. That, apparently, was the meaning of his existence. From birth on he had been marked. It seemed as if his time for life had finally run out.

Using every ounce of strength he had left, he rose from the ground, concentrating on even breaths. His vision swam, but he remained upright. Throwing his invisibility cloak on, he successfully hid his body from view.

- SR -

Walking through the castle had never been so difficult. Not only were there scorch marks and fallen boulders all over the place, but Harry couldn't get his body to function normally. He seemed to be watching himself from the outside. There were no thoughts of his own, no pain he could feel. He was just a body walking through empty halls.

He watched himself pass Neville on the way and his mind connected when his lips formed quiet words.

"Kill the snake."

Neville jumped at the voice and stared into the empty air.

"Harry, is that you?" he whispered.

When no answer came forth Neville's tone became nervous.

"Don't… don't do anything rash Harry. Like Luna said before, we're all still fighting. We're in this together."

Harry swallowed thickly before walking past the concerned boy.

"Kill the snake," he said one last time before leaving Neville alone to his thoughts.

When he brushed past Ginny, he didn't pause. In his mind, he was already a part of the dead. Despite the fact that he was walking, breathing, and feeling, he felt as if he had already fallen behind the veil of death. In his mind, Harry was gazing out from the other side.

The forest itself was alive and moving. Harry flinched when thousands of bats swooped down low, their wings beating like drums against the noble trees. A herd of thestrals galloped by, forcing Harry to dive aside. Spiders crawled through the underbrush, intent on a destination far away. Little did Harry know he was walking into his own delusions, for nothing he saw was real. They were all figments of his mind.

At last he came upon a campfire's light and paused. He felt Voldemort near.

_It's time to leave,_ a voice whispered in his mind. Harry started and whirled around, but only darkness met his eyes.

_Escape,_ the voice said again and he backed up slowly, afraid.

"Who are you?" he breathed and a low chuckle was heard.

_Why I am you. Run away now, before it's too late. You don't want to die, do you?_

"No, I don't want to die."

Harry turned and ran, blindly feeling the path beneath his feet. His invisibility cloak caught on something, but in his panic he left it behind and did his best to ignore the whispers in his mind.

"I'm going mad. Everything's finally caught up me. I've lost it completely," he muttered between short breaths.

An owl hooted in the night and he stumbled, falling heavily to the ground. Hermione's bag flew from his grasp.

Panting, Harry looked skyward wishing for someone to help. But he was on his own, just like always. This time wouldn't be any different. He didn't know why he expected anything else.

Harry stiffened when he heard footsteps approach. When he looked up, his breath caught in his throat at the deadly-looking creature in front of him.

_Vampire,_ the voice supplied sarcastically, but Harry ignored it. He scooted back against a tree, but it was too late. He had been seen.

"Well, well. What do we have here?"

The vampire bent down and reached out to stroke his cheek in a rather intimate way. Harry recoiled from the cold touch, all the while denying any attraction to the stunning immortal hovering above.

"A student has come out to play," the vampire growled and Harry didn't like the sound at all.

"Please," he whimpered, feeling pathetic inside. He cleared his throat and tried again in a more forceful tone.

"Let me go."

"Oh I don't think so love. You and I are going to have some fun."

The vampire crashed their lips together violently, slamming Harry roughly against the tree. He heard the bark splinter and felt a searing pain. He struggled beneath the hold, but the vampire didn't shift.

Feeling tears streak his face, Harry finally realized the helplessness of his situation. He was a mere human, struggling against an all-powerful vampire. There was nothing he could do but wait until he was finished with him.

But even as he thought this his mind slowly lost its connection with its body. He became a floating spirit once more and watched as his rapist tore away his clothes.

Watching from above, he felt disgusted with himself when his body reacted with lust to the endless hammering. He had to look away, wishing he had just chosen death. Death would have been better than this humiliation.

"Now my love," the vampire breathed into his body's ear after he had come. "Now it's time for you to die."

Harry's body jerked severely when sharp fangs bit into his neck. His mind was partially sucked back with the pain, but the other half watched as fire erupted through the shadowed trees. Dark figures were striding closer to where he lay. One figure in particular had ruby eyes.

Harry was aware of someone screaming. He had never before heard such powerful screams. He wanted to go to them, to tell them it was okay, but he couldn't find it in himself to move.

Over the screams he heard shouting.

"You fool! What have you _done_?" a voice hissed in all-out anger.

"I'm sorry, my lord. But he won't last very long. I've punctured his artery. Any second now the venom will be pumped into his heart. And with that much venom in his system, I'm afraid his heart won't last. He'll die shortly my lord."

With a flash of blinding green light, the screams faded.

- SR -

When Harry opened his eyes, he knew something was wrong. Not only did his body feel different, but he was enclosed in a small, dark box.

_A coffin,_ his mind supplied. Did he die? Almost immediately his mind showed him the answer. Like a film, he watched the last few moments of his life play out.

Harry groaned, letting out his first breath in three days. Reaching up, he used his strength to shift the top of the casket, blinking as the cracked marble rang loudly in his ears.

Feeling both healthy and disconnected, Harry emerged from his white tomb and looked up at his beloved castle.

Hogwarts was broken. There was not much left of her. Black smoke rose from the ruins and a sense of foreboding lay around her fallen form. A growl startled Harry before he realized that it came from himself.

Dreamlike, Harry walked to the edge of the black lake and gazed into its silky depths. A stranger looked back at him from its waters: a beautiful being with raven hair and scarlet eyes. Harry shattered his reflection before standing up, trying to feel some sort of emotion. He, however, felt nothing.

A breeze blew in from the south, bringing with it the smell of humans. Hogsmeade laid only a league away. Harry tensed, hearing the faint sounds of tinkering objects and voices. He felt his throat burn.

Walking toward the settlement, Harry forced himself to stop. If he got any closer, he wouldn't be able to stop himself. His thirst would be too overwhelming for any logical thought. He would have to decide here. Now.

He didn't want to kill anymore. He was so tired of death. His entire life he had been marked for death, surrounded by death, hit with death. Death seemed to follow his every move. And now he _was_ dead. He would never walk among the living; would never breathe that breath of life. Not anymore.

He didn't want to help Death do its job by killing countless of humans so that he could survive. But he was a monster now, forced to kill in exchange for existence.

Looking into the forest, Harry made a choice then and there. The humans would survive, he decided, but he would kill other animals that crossed his path. The forest always held a wide variety of creatures. He was sure he could survive on them alone.

Grinning, Harry sped into the dark trees. It was time for his first hunt.

- SR -

Harry gazed at the destroyed grounds from the highest tower of the school. Funny how the Astronomy Tower was the only tower left after the war. So much had happened here. The air was thick with pain.

After his hunt, Harry had decided that the best course of action would be to write to Hermione. Since he couldn't get close to humans, she could supply him with answers from afar.

He reread the letter one more time, losing himself in the fading memories of his past.

_Hermione,_

_It's Harry. Yes that's right, Harry Potter. Don't rip this letter apart, or throw it in the fire. At least not yet. This isn't a joke, it's really me._

_If you need proof, then in third year you and I used the timeturner to save both Buckbeak and Sirius. We made it back by midnight, so no one knew the truth, save Dumbledore._

_But I'm writing to you now because I need your help. You see, I did die, but I'm still around. I'm a vampire Hermione. A monster, but I need you now more than ever. _

_I need you to tell me what happened to Voldemort. Is he still alive? And Hogwarts - are you going to rebuild?_

_I'm so scared Hermione. Please write back._

_Harry_

After another moment of staring, Harry shook himself and whistled loudly through the silent air. A thestral flew out of the forest, landing proudly on the stones before him. Harry walked over to the dark beast, rubbing its scaly nose in appreciation.

"Thank you for coming, my friend," Harry said softly.

The thestral snorted, bumping his nose harder against Harry's cold hand.

"Can you deliver this to Hermione Granger for me? The owlery was destroyed and the owls have all gone. You're my only hope."

The horse threw his head back as Harry tied Hermione's bag around its neck. While out hunting, he had come across the place where he died and retrieved the item that was rightfully his. His cloak was still out there somewhere, but that didn't matter anymore. Vampires could hide in the shadows when they wanted to.

As he watched the thestral fly into the darkening sky, Harry whispered mournful words.

"She'll be able to see you. They all will."

- SR -

While walking towards the headmaster's office, Harry swore he saw faces in the walls. That unnerved him a bit, but he continued on despite the initial panic.

When he reached the closed door, he hesitated, but only for a second. It was in this room that he had finally learned the meaning of his existence. Only a few days ago, the terrible burden had fallen on him to save the world in a way that meant certain death for himself.

But he had _failed_. He was dirty. An embarrassment to the wizarding world. Some savior indeed.

Pushing against the wood, he walked over to the portrait of the late headmaster. Dumbledore eyed him with something akin to grief in his blue eyes.

Harry stood staring, his voice deserting him.

"My dear boy," Dumbledore said and Harry tensed. "I am – so sorry this had to befall you."

Harry struggled to force his words out. "Ron? Hermione? Are they okay."

"Yes, I do believe they survived."

Harry took a deep, unneeded breath and looked around at the other portraits watching them. He knew he had to ask one more thing.

"And Voldemort?"

Dumbledore remained silent for a moment, scrutinizing Harry over his half-moon spectacles. Finally, with a sigh, the headmaster answered in a deeply troubled voice.

"He is alive as well. Once our young friend, Mr. Longbottom, killed Nagini, Voldemort was left severely weakened. He disapparated and took the remaining Death Eaters with him."

Harry closed his eyes, wishing he were walking in a dream. He hoped beyond hope that he had died, and Voldemort had died that one, fateful night. Maybe these illusions were from behind the veil. Created to confuse him and trap him in a fake reality for all eternity. He dearly hoped so.

"There is one who could help you with your vampirism," Dumbledore continued hesitantly, unaware of the turn in Harry's thoughts. "A good friend of mine, Carlisle Cullen, lives in America. He's the kindest vampire I have ever known. He'd gladly accept you into his clan."

"No Albus," Harry heard himself say and left, never to return.

- SR -

The next day Harry found himself sitting on the hill by Hagrid's hut, his eyes scanning the distant sky for any sign of the thestral or an owl. The sky remained stubbornly empty though.

It was odd, Harry realized, to watch the world through unchanging eyes. The cycles of normal life continued despite the fact that he was frozen in time. Years would pass and those alive would live and die, but he would always just _be_.

A door creaked open nearby and Harry crouched, ready to defend himself if need be. He need not have worried however, for it was Hagrid.

"Hagrid," Harry called out, hopeful, but realized his mistake a moment too late. From his close proximity, Hagrid's blood all but sang to him.

He backed away, watching how Hagrid's face rapidly lost its color.

"Harry? Blimey Harry, though' yeh were dead! Carried yeh in me arms, I did. Even attended yer funeral. Is tha' really yeh?"

"No Hagrid, stay back!" Harry called out frantically, backing away even more. "I am dead. I'm not the same anymore. Please, don't come any closer."

Harry felt the first pang of emotion wash through him as Hagrid's face showed nothing but hurt.

"I'm sorry Hagrid, but I'm a –"

"Vampire," Hagrid whispered in shock. Harry had to look away, trying to get his thirst and emotions under control. It was one thing to accept what you had become, but it was even harder to watch others try to accept it. As a human, Harry remembered that he had loved Hagrid dearly. Now they couldn't even get close enough to talk.

"What – what are you doing here, anyway?" Harry said shakily, trying to get himself under control.

Hagrid seemed to shake off his shock and looked toward the forest.

"Came back for Grawpie. Coudn' leave him. Couldn' leave Hogwarts fer tha' matter," Hagrid said, tearing up. "It's been me home for so long."

"Aren't they reopening Hogwarts?"

"Wha'?" Hagrid asked, distracted. "Oh, no. No, too many memories, they say. Buildin' a new school down south, near Englan'," Hagrid said, grabbing a handkerchief and blowing hard.

Harry, meanwhile, felt his world spin out of control. His racing thoughts were becoming darker with each passing moment.

_They're not rebuilding Hogwarts. My home will remain broken. She'll be forgotten. I'll be forgotten. We'll be lost. Forever alone. _His mind continued to chant, unaware of the changing sky above.

A loud crash of thunder was heard and ice began to pour down on the two.

"Blimey," Hagrid said, looking up. Broken from his thoughts, Harry blinked and the storm went away as quickly as it came. They both watched as a rainbow formed over the school. The sun's rays were golden upon the fallen stones.

Looking straight at Hagrid, Harry said, "Go. Take Grawp and go to the new school."

"Wha –"

"Go Hagrid," Harry said, trying to put as much force as he could behind his words. "And don't tell anyone you saw me here."

"Harry, yer comin' with me o' course."

"No," Harry repeated one last time. "I don't belong with wizards anymore."

With one last look at Hagrid, Harry turned and walked towards the school.

"Harry, wait!" Hagrid shouted, sounding torn. "I have, er, something fer yeh."

Harry, for his part, didn't turn around. It would be too painful to gaze upon that which he would lose forever: his friends, his family, his _life_. Things would never be the same.

"Here Harry, I'll jus' lay it here."

Harry waited patiently for him to leave. When the footsteps faded, he whispered, "Goodbye Hagrid."

Turning around, Harry saw that the gift was Hagrid's wooden flute. He picked it up gently and walked back to the empty school.

- SR -

The thestral didn't return for two more days. During that time, Harry had walked the crumbled halls, visualizing Hogwarts whole once more. And as he walked past the cracks and crevices, he watched Hogwarts heal.

It was strange indeed, that whatever he imagined came to be. He'd have to explore this new gift more thoroughly with time. But for now, he had a thestral to greet.

"Hey boy, did you find her?" Harry asked, patting the horse's side.

The thestral snorted and bobbed its head. Harry smiled, admiring the beast's intelligence.

"And did she give you anything back?"

This time, the thestral looked into Harry's eyes, before lowering his head.

Harry frowned and looked off into the distance. "Maybe she'll send an owl." He paused, before turning back to the horse. "You did well. Thank you." Harry watched as the thestral took flight once more, soaring into the depths of the forest.

He sat down on the stone steps leading up to the main doors and waited. Harry didn't know how long he sat there, as still as a statue, waiting for a reply.

* * *

There you have it! This idea came to me full force and I just had to write it. Next chapter will have the Cullens. Ten years will have passed, so I guarantee that Harry'll be quite changed.

Review please! Shall I continue?


	2. Hide

A/N: Many of you are asking about pairings. I'm not going to say as of yet because the pairings in this story are complicated. But I can tell you that it's going to be slash.

Chapter 2 – Hide (Red)

_As the heat of summer turned to fall, a lone vampire stood alone, waiting, waiting. And when the warm winds died down, to be replaced by cold, the stoic figure moved on. He walked the earth, adapted to a new way of life. _

_And once more, the glare of summer melted the frozen fields. Flowers grew anew. Trees bloomed again. But time did not touch the ageless beauty. _

_Harry Potter, renewed from the grave, approached the days warily. Years passed and no one came. His heart grew emotions back, after the rough few years. For newborn vampires lose all that is dear. And as emotions grew, the emotions lacked. For everything was missing. Nothing was back. _

_As the seasons turned, the timeless soul turned to stone. He walked the halls and forest, his mind a wandering mess. And pretty soon, the praised and astounding Harry Potter was replaced by what some would fear. _

_A mere haunt across the land. A monster that time did not understand. The nearby village heard cries during the night. And soon that settlement was nothing more than a recollection of its old life._

_The boy who lived and will never die - all that's left of him is a memory's cry. _

- SR -

The Cullen's stared at Hogwarts, feeling something heavy in the air. Confusion lay among the group, for all that they saw, none of it should have been possible.

"I don't understand," Carlisle said to the others, his voice carrying across the desolate grounds. "What happened?"

Esme comforted her mate as best she could, but even her affection couldn't calm the united feeling that something was terribly amiss. This wasn't the splendid Hogwarts that everyone had imagined. This was a place of ghosts and legends; a place that remained forgotten by all who were alive.

Carlisle turned to his kin, his face showing true regret. "I am sorry that I dragged all of you out here. I wanted to show you Hogwarts in all her glory and have you meet Albus Dumbledore, one of my closest friends. I haven't heard from him in years, and I had thought, well, perhaps it would be nice to take a family trip. Before unforeseen events occur…" He said the last part while glancing at Bella. The only human in the group stiffened by Edward's side.

"It's alright, Carlisle," Rosalie whispered, glancing around the field of wild, black roses. "It _is_ rather beautiful, in a mournful kind of way." And it was, Edward thought. For fog ascended from the melting snow and a golden rainbow hovered above the clouds, perfecting the image of a broken battleground.

"What's that, dear? It looks like a tomb." Esme questioned suddenly, staring out across the lake. No one said anything on the matter, but the family drifted as one over to see what they could find.

When they arrived by the shores of the lake, they discovered not one, but two marble coffins. Both stood ancient and timeless, glowing amidst a thousand blue fairies. Their very presence seemed to taint the hallowed air.

Jasper stepped forward to read the inscriptions aloud. When he read the names, Carlisle's throat caught.

"Here lies Albus Dumbledore, beloved Headmaster of Hogwarts. And here lies Severus Snape, git to the end."

Jasper stood up, looking bemused. "Well, at least someone had a bit of humor," he replied roughly.

"Look at the dates, dear. They both died ten and twelve years ago..."

The rest of Esme's words were lost on Edward's ears, because he felt someone watching him from behind. Slowly, he turned around and caught sight of a shape standing amongst the fog.

It was a figure of legends; a great and terrible beauty that could enchant with a single glance. When Edward's eyes locked with this creature, the clouds parted and the first rays of sunshine bled through. Edward's breath caught at the broken beauty standing before him.

For that's what this creature was. Barefoot with torn clothing, this creature had to be descended from an angel. There was no other word for it. The pale skin and soft pink lips were offset by brilliant emerald eyes.

Edward found himself walking forward without so much of a thought. His family followed in his wake. He only came back to his surroundings when Bella squeezed his hand. She was scared, he realized. He pulled her closer to his side.

Carlisle was the first to speak in gentle tones.

"Who are you, dear one?" he asked. But the vampire standing before them all didn't answer. They would have doubted he had heard at all if not for the flicker of his eyes.

"I'm Carlisle –" he tried again, but this time he was interrupted.

"Dumbledore spoke of you." Awkward silence followed his words.

Edward glanced skyward then as the air became dark and grim. A steady wind picked up from the south, bringing with it a rain of… diamonds?

Alice swooped down to pick up a few, squealing with surprise. "They're beautiful!" she whispered, showing her family. But even as they watched, the diamonds slowly dissolved as if they were made of sand.

Carlisle's face lit up with wonder. "Remarkable! Truly remarkable. Your mind manifests the illusions," he said turning back to the vampire before them. "This is your gift."

"No," the vampire stated simply. "This is my curse." He turned away from them then, but kept speaking, as if to explain.

"I can make solid objects appear, yes. But I can't bring back the people I've lost." His words faded as two images appeared: a man and a woman, both dancing with obvious joy. The man's hair was unkempt and the woman had emerald eyes.

Edward watched with something akin to grief in his frozen heart as the vampire reached out toward the illusions. His hand ghosted through the air before the humans vanished from sight.

"I can't make my friends accept me for how I've changed," the vampire continued sorrowfully. With that said, a different set of humans appeared, one with freckles and the other with wild locks. Unlike the last illusion, these humans just stood there, smiling sadly at their long-lost friend.

The vampire turned back to them all, but it looked like his life force had given out. He became as still as a statue and spoke no more.

"Edward," Carlisle said softly, glancing at his eldest son. "Can you read his mind?"

Edward had his answer ready. With a glance at Bella, he said, "No, I only get flashes of images and color; something similar to a whirlwind. It's dizzying, but also… intriguing," he admitted reluctantly. He could see that Bella was jealous.

"Alice?" Carlisle questioned next, eyeing his daughter.

Her eyes lost focus for a few short minutes before she pulled out with a gasp. Edward could tell she was reluctant to speak.

"I – I can only see glimpses of his past. They buried him here." She trailed off and looked over to the tombs. When she continued, you could hear the heartbreak in her voice.

"When he woke, no one ever came back."

"Come with us," Carlisle said suddenly and Edward tensed. He could feel Bella and Rosalie tense too, both ready to protest, but Carlisle held up a hand.

"Come home with us. Harry Potter." The vampire jerked up with wide, shocked eyes. He flinched when Carlisle reached out to stroke an oddly-shaped scar on his forehead.

"How?" he exclaimed in shock.

"Dumbledore spoke of you," Carlisle answered with a smile. "Albus spoke most highly of you."

The grief in Harry's eyes became tangible. "You have a human with you," he stated, as if they had missed that fact. "She stinks."

Edward moved in front of Bella with a growl, but found his way blocked. Glass encased her and she gave a yelp.

"Is that going to be a problem, Harry?"

"No, no. Not a problem."

Edward could see that the vampire was buying for time. He instantly became annoyed at Carlisle for even suggesting it. The vampire was crazy, after all. He'd be a danger to them all.

But Carlisle wasn't accepting any excuses. His eyes never left Harry Potter.

"Then please release her," he stated calmly. Almost instantly Bella was released. Edward engulfed her in a hug and glared at the vampire.

Harry, ignorant of the glare, drifted off toward the forest and looked at something beyond any of their sights. After long moments of silence, Edward saw something shift in the woods. It was a centaur, stepping out from behind a tree.

"Go Harry Potter," it said in a deep, ringing voice. "Heal. Mercury looks favorably upon your journey. Venus is unusually bright tonight."

"But Hogwarts is my home," Harry muttered. And suddenly, as he said it, the sky became night. Edward jerked with surprise when the castle caught on fire. Illusions of a past battle covered the land.

Carlisle's voice rose above the screams. Edward could see that he was getting desperate. "Come home with us, Harry! Come away from here. We can help you. Son."

With his last word, Harry looked confused. It was as if he had never heard that word before. But even as Edward thought it, the battle became eerily silent.

Harry took one look at Carlisle's outstretched hand and, without a blink, took it in his own.

* * *

Review please!


	3. Prayer

Chapter 3 – Prayer (Secret Garden)

"Edward?"

Carlisle's voice broke Edward out of his thoughts. Night had long since fallen and he was currently watching television with Jasper. With a questioning look, he turned to his adoptive father.

"I'd have thought you'd be with Bella. I'm surprised you're here."

"Bella… has been grounded," Edward said, wincing a bit. "Charlie wasn't too happy with her disappearance. I've been forbidden to see her, or so he says. But I might head over there later when they're asleep.

"Was there something you needed?" Edward asked when he saw Carlisle hesitate.

"Yes actually. I was looking for Harry. Do you know where he is?"

Edward glanced at Jasper and shrugged. "Don't know, maybe outside."

"Outside?" Carlisle sounded very upset. "Are you telling me that you left a broken vampire alone, outside, in a very strange and new country? Edward, you should know better than that."

Carlisle's raised voice caused Edward to tense.

"Hey, he's not my problem! You're the one who brought him here. I never wanted –"

"Edward, stop." Jasper interrupted quietly. He caught Edward's eye and shook his head. "I think you've said enough. I'll go find Harry."

After Jasper left, Edward turned back toward his father. "Carlisle –" he started again, but stopped, not knowing what to say. Carlisle was looking at Edward with disappointment in his eyes.

"Harry's scared, Edward. He's not had an easy life. Must you make it more difficult for him?"

Without another word, he left Edward to his thoughts.

- SR -

_Tic tic tic…_

The clock on the wall was driving Edward mad. Ten minutes had passed and Jasper had still not returned with Harry. Edward hated to admit it, but he was getting worried.

He felt incredibly guilty for arguing with Carlisle earlier. He wasn't sure what had overcome him, but he never wanted that to happen again.

Maybe it was a certain jealousy he felt towards the new vampire. Or a certain hate. Whatever it was, Edward didn't want his family to change. It was perfect right now: paired up and happy. Harry would ruin all of that with his presence alone.

Not to mention his instability. His mind was a mess, therefore bringing danger to the family. He knew Rosalie felt the same way.

But there was something about him that intrigued Edward to no end and that made Edward fear him all the more. Why would he be fascinated with a vampire who had a dark and dangerous past? He knew nothing about him, and yet he felt a pull. With a sigh, Edward headed outdoors to see what he could find.

Almost immediately he knew something was wrong because the woods seemed unnatural and terrifying. As Edward walked, cloaked figures glided past him and strange lights lit the earth with their deadly glare.

A chilling voice suddenly echoed off the trees, causing Edward to shiver.

_'This message is for you, Harry Potter.' _The voice said slowly, before giving off a high-pitched laugh. '_Harry Potter, I know you're there!'_

Suddenly a different voice spoke. This one sounded more normal, but no less terrifying. '_The mudbloods are acting up, my Lord. Especially that Granger girl.'_

_'Kill them! Kill them all!'_

_'Avada kadavra!'_

Edward jumped with shock as green light flashed all around. When the light disappeared, his eyes fell on shape huddled against a tree. Harry's knees were curled up to his chest, his face buried in his knees. Edward saw that he was shaking.

Edward's irritation with Harry left him so quickly that he felt an aching guilt. After a helpless glance at Jasper, Edward sat down on Harry's other side.

"Harry?" he questioned quietly, not knowing where to begin. "Who was that man?" Edward hadn't meant to ask that, but it was the first thing that came to mind. He was surprised, then, when Harry gave a muffled reply.

Edward reached out to squeeze Harry's hand. "Who, Harry?"

Harry lifted his head and stared at something only he could see. When he gave his answer, Edward didn't interrupt him.

"He's the Dark Lord Voldemort. A part of him lies inside of me, growing no stronger and no weaker. While I live, he cannot die."

The three vampires sat there for the longest time, two of them contemplating Harry's words.

- SR -

"Harry, I thought I'd find you here! You like this garden, don't you? You're out here quite a lot." Carlisle's warm and cheerful voice drifted across Harry's ears. He was pleased to see Harry answer with a smile.

Harry sat amongst the roses, although Carlisle saw many things that shouldn't be there. There was a broomstick, for instance, near the lilies and a cat wearing spectacles by the petunias. Something Carlisle knew to be a King Cobra rested underneath the weeping willow tree. But overall, Harry looked both happier and healthier than ever before.

"Do you mind if I join you?" Carlisle asked, testing Harry's response. Harry stayed silent, but when Carlisle sat he started speaking into the air.

"I like the flowers," he said with a quiet hum. "They were my only friends when I was younger. Aunt Petunia used to send me out to take care of them all the time."

"Harry, do you mind if I ask you a few questions? I'd like to try to help you if I can." Harry glanced at Carlisle, looking confused.

"Are you happy, Harry? Are you happy with your power? Can you control it?"

"Oh yes," was all he said.

Carlisle tried again, hoping to get a more elaborate answer from him. "Can you show me what you've created in this garden? Can you tell me what shouldn't be here?"

Harry looked around with an expression of concentration on his face. Finally he pointed at a single beetle with oddly shaped markings around its eyes.

"Anything else, Harry?" Harry shook his head as a no.

"Okay Harry, there's another thing I wanted to ask you. I'm going to give you a scenario. I want you to close your eyes and picture it in your mind, but don't create it with your power. Can you do this for me?"

Carlisle waited until Harry nodded before continuing.

"Imagine the universe. Can you see the stars shining?" Carlisle paused then and watched in awe as the air shimmered into darkness. Tiny stars twinkled all around. It was a beautiful sight, yet highly illogical because none of it should have been possible. Not in a million years.

"Now Harry," he continued softly. "What's going to happen next could never happen in real life. But see it in your mind as the stars burst into flames! One by one they take flight because they've transformed into butterflies!"

Carlisle couldn't believe his eyes. For Harry's gift was unbelievable, if not dangerous. Thousands of flaming wings fluttered around him, creating the most beautiful illusion he's ever seen.

"And then it started raining," Carlisle finished quietly. Soft droplets fell from the heavens as Harry opened his eyes. Carlisle could see the pain on his face as he watched a lone butterfly die in a puff of smoke.

Harry stood up then and glanced around, looking lost.

"I didn't mean… I didn't want –"

"It's ok, son. I know you didn't want to use your power then. But you did. That's why I'm here. I want to help you. There's one more question I need to ask. Just one more thing I need to know before I can give you answers. I need you to tell me what happened before you were turned."

Harry stayed silent and Carlisle sighed.

"Do you not remember, Harry? You _have _to remember, son. Please open up to me. It's the last piece of the puzzle. The most important one."

"I don't remember," Harry replied shakily, turning away. "And I'm not a puzzle! Please, just leave me alone." Carlisle watched Harry run off into the nearby trees.

"Oh Harry," he whispered to empty ears. "What has happened to you, child?"

- SR -

The Cullen's sat around the kitchen table discussing the most important thing in their lives right now: Harry. They all knew Carlisle had a talk with him earlier and they wanted to know what he found. After years of practice as a physician, Carlisle would know how to help Harry better than anyone.

"Well, I noticed two things about our young Harry today. I… don't believe he can distinguish between his reality and the true one. When asked to point out objects that didn't belong, he failed to do exactly that. I also believe that his mind is torn. There seems to be nothing separating his logic from his magic. That's why his gift is so out of control.

"What I need from you… from _all_ of you," Carlisle said with a pointed look at Edward, "is to get him to open up. I need to know if he experienced any trauma before his turning. Was his mind broken before? Or did that happen from the bite. Only then can I accurately diagnose and treat him."

"What I don't get," Emmett said and they all turned to him in surprise. "I mean – why are his eyes green? That's not normal for a vampire. At least, not in my knowledge."

Before Carlisle could answer him, Jasper started explaining. "I know why. I looked it up after Harry came here. It's because he used to be a wizard. Isn't that right?" He looked at Carlisle for confirmation. Carlisle smiled softly before answering his brilliant son.

"Yes, that's correct. It's the effect his magic had on the changes. We had no magic when we were changed. We were, as Harry would say, muggles or non-magic folk." Before Carlisle could continue explaining, the ceiling started raining on them.

"Oh dear," Esme murmured in amusement as they all glanced skyward. Harry's room was directly above theirs.

"I'll check on him," Edward voiced before he could stop himself. He could feel Carlisle's eyes on him the entire way up the stairs.

- SR -

Edward stood outside of Harry's door for a long time, listening to the pure sounds of a flute. It was a sailor's lament, he recognized. In early history, whenever sailors lost their loved ones to the sea, they would play this tune.

Harry played it beautifully. Edward had always prided himself on showing emotions through his music, but Harry's emotions just bled through. For whatever Harry lacked in person, the same could never be said for his music.

Edward was sad to interrupt him, but with a glance at the soaking wet hallway, he knew he had no choice. He knocked and listened for a reply. Not a word was said, so he opened the door and instantly regretted it.

For inside Harry's room was a maelstrom! Harry sat on top of his dresser with the roaring sea all around him. The force of the waves knocked Edward backward as he glanced up fearfully at the lightning.

"Harry!" he called over the crash of the currents, but Harry didn't seem to have heard him.

"Harry," he said again, this time in a gentle voice. "Take a walk with me?" Harry instantly locked eyes with Edward. Edward was shocked to see desperation clearly written there.

"Take a walk with me, Harry. Please?" Edward held out his hand and hoped that Harry would take it.

- SR -

The forest this night was calm and beautiful as Edward and Harry walked side-by-side. Neither spoke, but that was okay. Because Edward was in awe of the way Harry's footsteps lit up the ground.

'_He truly is an angel'_, Edward thought, mesmerized. _'A fallen angel. A broken one.' _

Finally they reached a clearing and Edward stopped. A ring of trees surrounded them; the stars reflected overhead. It couldn't have been a more perfect place, but Edward was hesitant to bring up the questions he needed to know.

"Harry?" Edward asked, barely recognizing his own voice. He cleared his throat and tried again.

"You still remember, don't you? How many of your human memories remain?"

"Everything."

The answer was said so quickly and so quietly that Edward wondered if he had imagined it.

"Tell me," he breathed, not daring to hope. He stood for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, _finally_, Harry turned to him and started to speak.

"I was betrayed," he said simply, but as he said it something changed in the air. The colors of the night faded and voices began to echo throughout the trees.

'_You've been keeping him as a pig for slaughter!'_

'_So the boy… the boy must die?'_

"I didn't want to die. Someone told me to run."

'_Who are you?' _a human boy questioned, his voice painfully young.

'_Why I am you!'_

"And so I ran," Harry finished and Edward watched as images appeared out of thin air. The scene was gruesome, but Edward couldn't tear his eyes away. He saw a young boy get slammed into a tree before his clothes were torn off.

Long after the images faded did Edward dare to speak. He offered no words of comfort, no words of sorrow, but he gave Harry the truth.

"Carlisle has to know. No details, I promise you. I'll just sum it up. Is that alright, Harry?"

Harry stayed silent, but Edward knew he was listening. With a sigh, he glanced around at the forest and found the woods gloomy and depressing. The colors still hadn't returned to the earth. It was strange to view the world through a black and white film.

With a sudden urge to see Harry happy again, he voiced his thoughts. "Harry, listen to me. I want you to make this a happy place. Make it beautiful here. Can you do this for me?"

Harry frowned in concentration before Edward's eyes widened. The earth seemed to be shaping itself differently than before. Prehistoric flowers grew high into the air, their blossoms glowing pink and lighting up the night. With a sound of rushing water, a babbling brook appeared off to the side. A thousand fairies made their way into the clearing then. They circled the two vampires, all of them purple and blue, all of them chanting an eerie song.

It was the most beautiful scene Edward had ever witnessed. He'd gladly trade an eternity of years for seconds of this… paradise. The thought surprised him, but he pushed the feeling aside.

Edward moved in front of Harry then and grasped his hands inside his own.

"Thank you," he said, completely sincere. He watched Harry intently, mesmerized by how the fairy lights reflected off his face. "This can be our sanctuary. Would you like that?"

Edward stiffened ever so slightly when Harry collapsed against him, his face buried inside the curve of Edward's neck. After some time, Edward found himself relaxing, enjoying the feel of Harry's body against his own.

Edward swayed gently to the fairy's tune with Harry in his arms. Above them he heard a seagull's call. "Do you like oceans, Harry?" he asked quietly as to not break the magic in the air.

"Dunno, Edward. Never been to one. They always left me behind." Edward tightened his hold on Harry, knowing he wouldn't break.

"One day I'll take you there." Edward left his silent promise hanging in the air.

- SR -

Edward knocked on Carlisle's study door before entering with a rush.

"I found out about Harry's past! I just… thought you'd want to know," he finished lamely as his adoptive father looked up at him in amusement.

Carlisle set his book down and gave Edward his full attention. "Go on, son."

Edward took an unnecessary breath before plunging into his story. "Before Harry was turned he went through _very_ traumatic events, both physical and mental. It seemed like his spirit broke and all hope died. I think he went crazy, Carlisle. And there was this voice…"

Edward trailed off, not knowing what else to say. That seemed to be all Carlisle needed, however, because he straightened up immediately.

"Of course! Why didn't I see it before?" Carlisle murmured to himself before turning back to Edward.

"The traumatic events of Harry's human life must have tipped him over the edge. Before he was turned, I believe Harry developed schizophrenia. When he became a vampire, the changes became permanent in his mind."

"So what are you saying, Carlisle?" Edward questioned, still unsure. "That I can't hear his thoughts because his mind is –"

"His mind was a mess, Edward. And still _is_ a mess. He's probably rattling off more thoughts at one time than you can process. Hallucinations are also a part of this disorder, so that would explain the creativity with his gift."

"But can we cure him?"

Carlisle studied Edward's face for a long moment before he spoke again. When he did, it sounded like every word caused him pain.

"No. The only thing we can do for our young Harry is to make him more grounded. We need to make him accept the realities of this world. Right now he's living in the realities of his mind."

* * *

Review, please!


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